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"Master of the House"
Master of the House
Information
Composer

Claude-Michel Schönberg

Lyricist

Herbert Kretzmer

Performers

Madame Thénardier
Monsieur Thénardier
Ensemble
Young Éponine (silent, 2012 movie only)

Song Order
Previous

"Castle on a Cloud"

Next

"The Well Scene"

"Master of the House" takes place in Montfermeil, France in 1823. The scene takes place in the inn of the Thénardiers, right before Jean Valjean comes in with Cosette.

The lyrics were written by Herbert Kretzmer.

LyricsEdit

Drinker 3: Come on, you old pest

Drinker 2: Fetch a bottle of your best

Drinker 1: What's the nectar of the day?
[Thénardier comes in with a flask of wine.]

Thénardier: Here, try this lot

Guaranteed to hit the spot, or I'm not Thénardier

Drinkers: Gissa glass of rum
Landlord, over here

Thénardier: [To himself] Right away, you scum
[To customer] Right away, M'sieur

Diner 1: God this place has gone to hell

Diner 2: So you tell me every year

Drinker 6: Mine host Thénardier
He was there, so they say, at the field of Waterloo

Drinker 7: Got there, it's true, when the fight was all through

Drinker 1: But he knew just what to do
Crawling through the mud
So I've heard it said
Picking through the pockets of the English dead

Drinker 8: He made a tidy score from the spoils of war

Thénardier: My band of soaks
My den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores spent their lives in my inn
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors
And their money's as good as yours

Diner 1: Ain't got a clue what he put into this stew
Must've scraped it off the street

Diner 2: God, what a wine
Chateau Neuf de Turpentine
Must've pressed it with his feet

Drinkers: Landlord, over here
Where's the bloody man?
One more for the road
One more slug o' gin

Girl: Just one more, or my old man is gonna do me in

Thénardier: [Greeting a new customer.]
Welcome, M'sieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest
All of them crooks
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent who's content to be

Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favour
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price

Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus, won't I bleed 'em in the end

Thénardier & Chorus: Master of the house
Quick to catch your eye
Never wants a passer-by to pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher and lifelong mate
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone

Thénardier: But lock up your valises
Jesus, won't I skin you to the bone

[To another new customer.]

Enter, M'sieur
Lay down your load
Unlace your boots and rest from the road
[Taking his bag.]
This weighs a ton
Travel's a curse
But here we strive to lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing's overlooked till I'm satisfied

Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges plus some little extras on the side

Charge 'em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two per cent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three per cent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are lots of tricks he knows
How it all increases
All them bits and pieces
Jesus, it's amazing how it grows

Thénardier & Chorus: Master of the house
Quick to catch your eye
Never wants a passer-by to pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher and life-long mate
Everybody's boon companion
Gives 'em everything he's got

Thénardier: Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus, what a sorry little lot

Madame Thénardier: I used a dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
"Master of the house"
Isn't worth me spit
"Comforter, philosopher" - and lifelong shit
Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house

Thénardier & Chorus: Master of the house

Madame Thénardier: Master and a half

Thénardier & Chorus: Comforter, philosopher

Madame Thénardier: Don't make me laugh

Thénardier & Chorus:
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great

Madame Thénardier: Hypocrite and toady and inebriate

Thénardier & Chorus: Everybody bless the landlord
Everybody bless his spouse

Thénardier: Everybody raise a glass

Madame Thénardier: Raise it up the master's arse

All: Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house

TriviaEdit

  • This song is known as Amo del Meson in the Spanish production and this roughly translates to, "Lord of the Inn".
  • In the Polish Roma Theater version the song is titled "Kramu tego król", which means: "King of this markel stall".
  • In the 2012 movie, most of the lyrics are cut, including the first several verses. The song opens with the lines "My band of soaks/My den of dissolutes..." and also cuts all the individual drinker's lines.
  • This song, in the Mexican version, is called  "Soy el anfitrión"  and this could translate as "I'm the host".

Other versionsEdit

2012 Movie VersionEdit

Madame Thénardier: (spoken) Wakey, wakey. We're opening.

Thénardier: My band of soaks
My den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes, my always pissed as newts
My sons of whores
Spent their lives in my inn
Homing pigeons homing in
They fly through my doors
And they crawl out on all fours

Thénardier: [Greeting a new customer.]
Welcome, M'sieur
Sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest
All of them crooks
Rooking their guests and cooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent who's content to be

Master of the house
Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale
Makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favour
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price

Master of the house
Keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus, won't I bleed 'em in the end

Thénardier & Chorus: Master of the house
Quick to catch your eye
Never wants a passer-by to pass him by
Servant to the poor
Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher and lifelong mate
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone

Thénardier: But lock up your valises
Jesus, won't I skin you to the bone

Food beyond compare
Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse
Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges plus some little extras on the side

Charge 'em for the lice
Extra for the mice
Two per cent for looking in the mirror twice (Hand it over!)
Here a little slice
There a little cut
Three per cent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are lots of tricks I knows

How it all increases
All those bits and pieces
Jesus, it's amazing how it grows

Madame Thénardier: I dreamed a dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty,
Have you seen what's happened since?
"Master of the house"
Isn't worth my spit
"Comforter, philosopher" and lifelong shit
Cunning little brain
Regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature
Landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house

Thénardier & Chorus: Master of the house

Madame Thénardier: Master and a half

Thénardier & Chorus: Comforter, philosopher

Madame Thénardier: Don't make me laugh

Thénardier & Chorus: Servant to the poor
Butler to the great

Madame Thénardier: Hypocrite and toady and inebriate

Thénardier & Chorus: Everybody bless the landlord
Everybody bless his spouse

Thénardier: Everybody raise a glass

Madame Thénardier: Raise it up the master's arse

All: Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house


TriviaEdit

  • The first verse of the song is cut down for the 2012 film. Madame Thenardier does kick her husband to wake him up before the bar/hotel opens up.

VideosEdit

Les Misérables 11- Master Of The House04:56

Les Misérables 11- Master Of The House

Les Misérables (Orignal Broadway Cast) - Master Of The House

Les Misérables Soundtrack - Master of the House OST - Sacha Baron Cohen Helena Bonham Cart04:53

Les Misérables Soundtrack - Master of the House OST - Sacha Baron Cohen Helena Bonham Cart

Les Misérables (2012 Movie) - Master of the House


Les Miserables 10th Anniversary (HD) - Master of the House (13 41)05:54

Les Miserables 10th Anniversary (HD) - Master of the House (13 41)

Les Misérables (10th Anniversary Concert) - Master of the House



905:46

9. Soy el Anfitrión - Los Miserables México

Master of the house in Mexican version

Teatr Muzyczny ROMA- Kramu tego król (Musical "Les Miserables")04:55

Teatr Muzyczny ROMA- Kramu tego król (Musical "Les Miserables")

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